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I am fed up with her lying to me, but she is my child and I want the best for her. Should I confront her with her father there, too? Should I speak to the man she is having the relationship with? I don't know what to do. I'm not really sure what your goal here is - and I'm fairly certain that you're equally in the dark.

Is your intention to get her to end the relationship, to encourage her to confide in you in order to improve the relationship between you, or to have a family showdown? Your husband may not be all you hoped for, but he's certainly got a point. Your child is now an adult and any jot of juristic control that you once had over her comings and goings and general choices in life is no longer in effect. That said, she has chosen to remain under your roof and if your intention is to force her to end the affair, then I suppose that is your one trump card.

Having not sought an independent lifestyle, she has to some extent forfeited her rights to one, and could potentially be pressed to disclosure under threat of eviction. But what exactly would that achieve?

Dear Mariella

Either she would depart your house in unpleasant circumstances or you'd force an admission which you would still be powerless to act on. You say that it is her lying to you that's responsible for the barrier between you, but I'd hazard a guess that your controlling, judgmental tendencies may also have something to do with it.

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Not to mention the effect of a nagging concern that your divorce may have been a contributing factor to her relationship choice. I understand and sympathise. It's not the relationship you would want your young daughter to be having, but if you want to improve your own dealings with her, you're going to have to start showing an interest in her point of view. If she is having an affair with this older guy, it's unlikely to be coincidence that it began within a year of her parents' separation. She may well feel utterly rejected by her father and therefore have found what to her seems an ideal replacement.

I presume that this is something you've given some thought to? At an insecure period in her life, around the time she was finishing school, another cataclysmic event took place when you and her father decided to separate. I'm not blaming this on the demise of your marriage - a sad scenario that many people face - merely suggesting that there may be a connection between the departure of her father and her embrace of a father figure.

I am ok though. Heck, that she said yes to you gives ME hope! They want stories to tell their girlfriends of how they met this older man for drinks, tapas, etc. I love women, foreign and domestic.. Young men actually wear those things on dates!?!?

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A previous poster actually hit it on the mark.. Cultivate a look that attracts younger women from the European continent and, believe it or not, everything else will fall into place. Get out of here with that BS bro! You can only pull that off on a regular basis in certain foreign countries. I tried online dating a few years ago. Avoid it at all costs. I had views of my profile, I contacted 40, 10 responded, and not one would even meet for a cup of coffee.

These were all women over 50, I was Even dating in my age range yielded dismal responses. Moral—you must date all you can under 40, after that the prospect pool is small and not promising. Online dating sites are full of recycled inactive users or fake profiles—you will waste your time sifting through junk. Try to meet someone via an activity or hobby. Dating over 50 for both sexes is mostly an ordeal in frustration and disappointment. Try it on if you like, I found it not worth the effort any longer.

I agree with you about dating over 50, I am I am not concerned about dating anymore as I have given up on dating and finding someone and given up on having kids because women have judged me unworthy for so long that I believe i must be. All you do Scott is put yourself out there and hope for the best. Dating is last thing I worry about now.

I am sorry about your cancer issue and please make a good fight and survive this. I had been talking to a 34 year old, we were supposed to go out 2 weeks ago but it fell through. I guess men over 50 are worthless when it comes to love. I am just completely giving up on love.


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The US is a culture that values youth whereas in non western countries the old are revered, valued and respected. In the US old people are practically put out to pasture. Google the subject of how different societies treat the old and you will see this. Also, dating studies show that American women in particular absolutely hate to date men much older than themselves whereas in non western cultures It is a preference.

What you and other guys need to understand is that most women of the world are totally different than American women. American women are e most flaky in the world and will get turned off and dump you for the smallest little thing. Many experts articles are abound that talk about this finickiness and pickiness and impossible to meet demands they have in men. Why waste away at home in the US when you could be having your choice in women abroad? Women of non western countries really strongly desire to have a man in their life and will appreciate you.

And a year age gap is nothing to them and 10 years is actually preferred. And the women are generally hot and very feminine instead of masculinized.

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A guy who can usually date a 6 in the US can date a 8 or 9 abroad. That part is the same where ever you go and fact is foreign ladies are far less materialistic. You can filter for English speaking only at online dating sites. I do t lime long distance relationships either. I would rather be lonely then give women any more chances to hurt me. Man o man, you have no idea how humbleness and sweet Filipinas are. Filipinas will not hurt any man, trust me. They will truly accept a man for who he is as long as he is nice. Please try getting on to cherry blossoms and see what the chats are like.

You will find sexy and beautiful Filipinas deny their beauty if you tell them they are beautiful. I saved thousands every winter by leaving the country. Sorry to hear you are giving up. That might be part of your problem with women; they usually want a confident man who takes control of life. I never wanted to give up, but women have made it clear i will never be whst they want. If you have a good heart, then maybe you are just looking in the wrong places or approaching the wrong women.

You should really try going after women who look a whole lot younger than they are.


There is a young looking woman out there for you, just make sure you look for her qualities not just her looks. I never get with guys because of their looks or their money. There are good and bad on both sides of the coin. Gawd you are such a douche your take on American women no wonder you have to buy foreign women. American women bring more to the table than most women around the world. We are the primary caretakers, paycheck earners, intelligent and independent. You expect men to continue denying the reality smacking them in the face every day attempting to date in America, simply bc you are insecure and think you are a great catch.

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